So looking back on the little notebook of baby facts that I kept for Ryder, I noticed that I only wrote down the positive! I am proud, thinking back now, that although I was exhausted and worried, I didn't waste my time focusing on the struggles, rather the things that Ryder did that made me smile!
I left my story last when Ryder began to drink cows milk formula. From what I remember, through the sleep deprived, hazy memories, is that we weined him with one bottle of formula a day. It only took about a week to have him fully on Enfamil. I didn't notice him sleeping any differently by this point, nor did I connect the constant waking and fussiness. Looking at it now,knowing what I know,it was probably because he was a newborn, and babies always wake up in the night, and are always fussy, and always cry alot, or so I thought.
From birth, Ryder had red cheeks,and what looked like a bumpy rash on his face. The family doctor told us it was baby acne,but as I did some research, and time went by, I started to doubt it. I remember his cheeks getting more and more red, especially when we were with other people,or he was hot. It was so red it looked like it was raw. I had already thought to change his laundry soap to an unscented, hypo allergenic brand,and tried some different baby soaps in the bath. Ryder also had incredibley dry skin, which peeled off like when you have a sun burn. Again, the doctor said this was normal, and who was I to argue, as I couldnt find an age limit on these things in my research.
January 3rd, Ryder's 2 month check up.Ryder weighed 11 lbs, 16 oz and was 23 inches long. I was proud of how well he was growing, since he was born so little. It was this appointment that the family doctor gave us some cortezone for his face, and we realised that Ryder had eczema. So, in the spirit of research, I hopped online, and ordered some books about children with eczema.
What I found online were horrible, heartwrenching stories and photos of children wrapped head to toe in guaze soaked in special ointment, hospitalised because their eczema was so bad that their eyes would crack and bleed when they blinked. It still brings tears to my eyes as I realise how blessed I am to have a child who,although has experienced a great deal of pain and discomfort, has not had to suffer in that way.
When the books arrived, what I read were first hand experiences, told by children with eczema. They spoke about how they couldn't go to birthday parties, or sleep overs,or play sports or do gym, and how people were scared to touch them, or wouldn't be friends with them because of how their skin looked. The incredible, brave stories told by these children who have suffered with such a painful and difficult condition from birth,were then ridiculed at school for it. It just makes me sad, and angry that we are bringing up our children without teaching them respect or to have the abilities to accept people who are "different", into the "normal" world.
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